With a name like MacGregor, it's hardly surprising that I'm no royalist. 'S rioghal mo dhream and all that, meaning, royal is my race, for the non Scots amongst you.
So what the actual fuck? This Jubilee is doing my fucking head in. If I see another bit of plastic bunting tied to a fucking lampost I'm seriously going to string up the cunt that hung it there. Wake up people! The Jubilee was invented by Poundshop, Iceland and Asda to get us all buying cheap tat and frozen sausage rolls. It's clearly worked an aw! But just so as all that reconstituted pork isn't going to waste, I propose you all have a bash in my honour. (I know some of you have been bashing in my honour for some time now and the thought is appreciated.)
This could take the form of a street party, if you like. Not advisable in certain inner cities, but that's up to yersel. I take no responsibility for anything that happens when all yer hooses are empty.
Those more savvy, may decide to just have a wee soiree in the back garden. Fine by me.
Get together with your clan, have a wee toast to Judas MacGregor, the true King of Scotland.
Slangevar!
Judas xx (HRH to you...His Royal Hotness)
